So Close, Yet So Far
by miracchi
Summary: Levi was in love but decided to stay away. Saw a post on tumblr saying 'why do you ship Ereri? Levi's a pedophile' it upsets me so decided to write this.


It was not until Hanji pointed it out that he was in love with Eren Jaeger. He didn't even understand it himself but he was anyway. The brat was all sunshine and rainbows, he has a strong determination and also a clumsy bastard. Maybe that was what made him love the brat; His own world was dark and chilly, just like him. He's stoic and apathetic, he rarely shows any emotion. Maybe because Eren was the complete opposite of him that resulted for him to fall in love.

"You, my friend is indeed in love" Hanji had said. Sitting across the Corporal, having some tea. It was suppose to be a little chat but Hanji suddenly blurted things out and it lead to this. Instead of answering, he looked up and gave Hanji a look that clearly says 'what?'

The merry laughter of Hanji filled the room, she was amused. "You're lucky that the other members weren't as observant as me, they would really look through you if they were" She was all smiles but it disappeared as fast as she smiled.

"Have you gotten soft Levi?" It was almost a whisper but the latter heard it. He asked himself 'was I already soft?' It was ridiculous, he was the infamous strict Corporal and everyone except the people who knew him was scared of him. There's no way in hell that he would gone soft for a bastard.

Hanji was expecting for a witty retort or something sass but the latter was obviously contemplating. "Well, it's not a bad thing though" Hanji had said in a soft voice. This a one in a million chance to talk with Levi in a matter like these.

"It's okay to soften up once in a while" She said looking down in her cup of tea. "Even if you deny it to yourself or whomever. You clearly care for Eren. Your face softens for a bit when you see him, you talk to him in a soft manner when he's having problem with himself but you still keep a straight face. These things are subtle but it is enough evidence that you softens up for him"

Hearing things like these is a like a cold water was splashed to his face. Not a minute ago he was contemplating on things but now as Hanji had pointed things out for him, he asks himself, _am I really in love?_. Then he was scared, scared shitless. He was never in love with anyone. Granted, he shows interests in some but it never blossoms into something deeper. _Was he careless? Was he not the same Levi anymore?_ Deciding that this would end, he stood up and leave Hanji alone but before he opened the door. Hanji said.

_"Don't be afraid Levi. Take chances"_

The next day was a bad day. He was left alone with Eren in his office to finish off some paper works. He doesn't want to be alone with Eren, not right now. He was still not sure about his feelings but everytime their hands brush or their shoulders brush. Levi would shudder. It's disgusting, it's disgusting to feel something like this towards the same sex. But love is sexless, he doesn't want to admit it but he was quite getting the hang of being in love.

Levi sat on his office getting paper works done, merry laughter from outside filled his ears; What's more, Eren's laughter can be heard too. He was having difficulties in concentrating, so he set his pen down and laid back and closed his eyes. He didn't get enough sleep last night because he was thinking about his feelings and Eren, but after some thinking he finally admitted to himself that he love the damn brat. So now, instead of finishing his works, he was relishing the voice of Eren. He find it absolutely silly that the humanity's strongest soldier was smiling merely because of a voice. He almost spends the rest of the day listening and thinking about Jeager.

"Heichou?" He was currently finishing the left paper works from yesterday and suddenly he heard a knock and the voice he had known all too well filled his ears.

"Come in" He fixed his clothes and suddenly Eren was in front of him. Oh god, how beautiful this creature is. He stared at the beauty in front of him, relishing and carving the image to his memory. Then all at once, he felt like hugging the brat, he was suddenly overwhelm by his own emotions. He heard Eren talk but not a single word registered in his head, he was busy contemplating on whether he should hug him or not. Eren was turning to leave but Levi called out; instantly regretting it.

"N- Never mind" Did he just stutter? Shit. Lance Corporal Rivaille _never_ stutters. The effect of the brat is scary.

When Eren was nowhere to be seen. Levi released a breath he didn't know he was holding. He stuttered in front of him, that was embarrassing, he put his hands over his forehead and pinch the bridge of his nose. If this is the effect of Eren on him, then he might reconsider confessing. It was hard as it is to just stand near Eren, he has a habit of being awkward when Eren is around. As he noticed this, he wanted everything to disappear. He wanted this damn feelings to just leave. Now, he decided to just watch Eren from afar. It's better that way, no stuttering, no awkwardness, no more being stupid. Because when it comes to Eren, _Levi is a mess._

The next day, they were having some tea party. He was discussing things with Erwin, Hanji is assisting Eren with the pot and everything else were perfect not until Eren got poured and maybe on instinct, he went amazingly fast next to his side and took care of the fingers. Hanji's lips curved into a small smile, Erwin was confused. He couldn't care less about the people around, Eren was hurt he needed help.

"Be careful next time, idiot" Even though he called Eren an idiot, there was an underlying gentle voice.

After all the things that had happened. He decided to just stay away from Eren. He doesn't want to be called a pedophile or whatever, it's enough that they're acquaintances. There's a big risk if he'll let his feelings out, he doesn't want to ruin what they had now. Everything is going to be okay, he'll just love Eren from afar. Levi is_ so close yet so far, _everyone might think that Levi is so strong but in reality.

He's a coward when it comes to love.

* * *

A/N: I saw a post on tumblr, got depressed and wrote this. I'm gomen for the mistakes orz.


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